I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I will pee on everything he values.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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