I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
