Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize