i can't believe i had my finger in that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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