My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
