kristin has been a bad kristin
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
