We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
