I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
