It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
