Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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