i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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