Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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