we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
