From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
