I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
