woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
