Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
