I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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