she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm too high and old for this...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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