meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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