Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
