just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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