Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
