Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
