You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
