they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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