Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
