What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
