Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
