I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
should my penis look like a turkey
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
