the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
