it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
