Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
