Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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