Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize