what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
