why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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