why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize