IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
