What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
