dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize