what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
