Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
