I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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