Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize