rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize