I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
