her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
