Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
