Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
