I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
