It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
