The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
