Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
