what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize