You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
