does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
