Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
