btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize