im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
