how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize