Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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