highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
