no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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