We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
where does the pee come out of this thing
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
