I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
