you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
