Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
