My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
