your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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