Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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